11:58pm, New Year's Eve

I woke up this morning FEELING you in my arms this morning, my boys. Happy New Year's Eve.

In 2013...

-you will come home

-you will meet the TONS of family who have been waiting to meet you for a long time

-you will both roll over and crawl and walk, and talk!

-you will go to some of our favorite places, like on hikes, and to Washington D.C., and to the Korner Restaurant for ice cream...

-you will smile so much, Mommy will take sooooooo many pictures, and probably not be able to take for granted a single smile in the rest of our 365 days.

This time next year we will be together. You'll be tucked snug in your beds while Mommy and Daddy probably cry about how wonderful that is.

2013 is going to be awesome.

Meet the Hill Boys: photo diary part 2

 

 

 

 

Meet the Hill Boys

Any Mama would probably agree, there are no words for the first time you meet your children, but they say a picture's worth a thousand, so here we go. 

Meeting Our Sons: A photo diary

 

 

 

Pre-lims

Ok. Well, first you should know that the weird things pregnant women go through are not completely hormonal. Do you sense a big-whopping-excuse coming on? Yeah, you do. Earlier this month we received news that our official court decree had arrived. The legal process for becoming parents to our boys was over. (We could share all the pictures we want.) That's about the time I lost interest in sharing our story, or being communicative in any way, shape, or form. Life's been hard since we've been back from ET. Our sons are still there. There's no gettin' around it, that makes everything hard.

Today, I'm ready to share pictures of our amazing boys!! -But I CAN'T yet, because you just don't know enough to know how good it all was... So, yes you must read this twin-picture-free post before going on to the one to follow. Just humor me, k?

Now. We're starting on the first day we saw the boys. (Not the first day we arrived in Ethiopia.) There are many details to be filled in, still! But this picture was taken on our flight out of the capitol and up into the northern region of Ethiopia called the Tigray region. The terrain was unbelievable. What an awesome part of the world to discover!

We landed at the Mekele airport, and met the care center director, Tsehaye, who we came to love over our week there. Driving into Mekele we passed men and women in both traditional and western dress walking casually up and down the streets. We rode in Tsehaye's car past gated homes and businesses, make-shift structures, mule-drawn carts, donkeys, and cars alike. We loved it.

We arrived in front of the care center where there were always some passive street dogs to greet us. Looking at the gate, Cary and I had no idea what to expect.

For months we imagined the first meeting with our sons, but we had not anticipated our meeting with all of the other sweet faces of children waiting for families. We walked through the care center doors and were met with a chorus of "Welcome!" followed by each child (ages 3-13) pulling us down to their height to hug and then kiss each side of our face. It was overwhelming to say the least.

The nannies had prepared a traditional coffee ceremony for us - a highlight of Ethiopian culture!

And that's when Tsehaye asked us if we'd like to go upstairs see our boys. Ha! We walked up the stairs and into their room...

And then, we saw them. In person. For the first time.

Merry Christmas Mighty Men

Ezekiel and Gabriel,

It's just after midnight here in the States. Mommy and Daddy watched the clock all (Christmas Eve) day long for when you most likely woke up in Ethiopia, had breakfast, took your first nap on this day we celebrate Christmas - December 25, 2012. We have been praying over you like crazy today. It's been an especially hard day to be apart. We know the nannies in Addis love you and are giving you their best care. We know your heavenly Father loves you abundantly more than even we can. He is with you, and that gives us reason to hope and rejoice. It will be awhile, but you might one day know the same reality that lives in Mommy and Daddy's heart this season: hope, gratitude, joy, anticipation, and nausea. All at the same time. :) When Aunt Addie and Uncle Eli wake up to open presents in a few hours, we will be enjoying every minute of their discoveries, and thinking of you.

Things Mommy saw this Christmas that she wants to always remember:
- Traditions be darned. They can be fun and seem special, but they do not hold (or hardly reflect) the meaning of Christmas. As our family repeats things we enjoy doing together and the giving of gifts, we need to do it with our hands open, remembering how humbly our God came into the world. Mommy wants to remember that we are not entitled to material gifts in the name of Christmas. Salvation is ours. (There's no touching that with the "symbolic" gift of a new-favorite want.) Gifts and traditions were never a part of Christ's first night in Bethlehem. Our family can take them or leave them, but let's not get stuck on them.

-God sent His Son as a baby. Mommy has a new understanding of what a deep act of love this was as she waits for her sweet babies on the other side of an ocean. God sent Jesus, His one son, in this most vulnerable state - turning Him over to the world for a time. What a "gift" this was since God knew our treatment of Him would be far less than what God could offer, and what Jesus deserved. 

-Anticipation is a wonderful thing. It has a purpose, and should not be disregarded or minimized. Addie and Eli went to bed with great anticipation of Christmas morning. We could have said, "Ah, heck. Here are your presents, open them now!" And Eli at least, probably would have jumped at the opportunity. But in the end, we all know that wouldn't have been half of the experience they will have in the morning. Grabbing the things we desire out of turn only decreases our satisfaction in having them. God's timing is perfect. His plans for us are good, and we want to experience them to the full! Your Daddy and I once thought we would NEVER make it through our season of engagement as we longed to be together, to never have to leave one another, and to enjoy our union to the full. We considered rushing a wedding. (We considered cheating on the rules.) We were reminded by loving people that it was God's plan for us to wait on those things and that He was still preparing us to be one in His eyes. We chose to trust Him in the wait, and He sustained us. We are now SO grateful for that season of anticipation, for the growth we had individually with the Lord, for the respect we gained for one another, and for the blessing we've received for honoring Him. Our wait to have you in our arms is HARD, but we are trusting His timing, knowing the blessing to come when we are all together is well worth it, and that it's coming SOON. But there's a greater wait still... For the rest of our time on this earth, we will wait with anticipation for our Savior, whose first coming to this world we celebrate on Christmas, to come for the last time. He will bring the fulfillment of the plan that He began. We will finally see His complete purpose, judgement and will, and be satisfied. So babies, thank you for the opportunity to learn better what our God means for us to know. Thank you for practice walking out the faith we didn't know we had until God used this opportunity to show us. Glean the truth from yo' Mama; anticipation is a wonderful thing, whether you can see it now or not. 

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” - Galatians 4:4

Merry First Christmas, Sweet Boys.

-Love, Your Mama

Makin' it real.

First things first, I know most of you are thinking - you spent a week with your babies, and no pictures yet? Hang tight. I have some serious picture posts ready to go as soon as we get the "clear" from our agency that our court decree has arrived. That's all we're waiting for!! IN the meantime...  a current reflection. ('Cuz after this, we're gonna spend a lot of time on the past most wonderful week of Cary's and my life.)

Long drives are just ripe for the Lord to speak to me. I used to think I would miss those long car rides of think/pray/hear time once Cary and I got married. Turns out, God doesn't slow down on His communication just because there are two of you in the car.

At the VERY beginning of our trip to our boys, we departed Blacksburg to drive home for some visit time before getting a couple hours of sleep and driving to the airport in DC. Cary and I were excited, and - as is typical - non-stop conversing. We were just leaving town when a song I'd heard a few times before on the radio came on. Cary was talking about something I was really enjoying, so I didn't interrupt him, but the words to the chorus just blazed in the background, and my heart swelled a little with their truth, even as he talked.

When we were on the plane just a few hours out from Addis Ababa, our destination, I could no longer sleep but most people around us were doing a good job, so I put on my headphones. My sister made us a special mix for the trip (she's awesome like that), and the second track was the same one I'd heard before. As I focused on the words, my insides started racing, and I knew the Lord was giving me what I like to call a new "theme song." When I try to explain my "theme songs" to people for the first time, I think of Kronk's theme song in "The Emperor's New Groove." (Don't know what I'm talking about? We can't have that. Click HERE.) Before you dismiss me because I'm a person who apparently feels self-important enough to have her own theme songs, let me try to explain? Beginning in high school, over some of the most formative years of my faith I did a lot of talking to the Lord, and He sometimes responded in the timely drop of a certain song. When I heard it, I knew He was speaking to me through it, and I would cling to it for that season, trying to glean all of the truth in it He had for me to apply to that point in life. The songs seemed so central to the season I was in, they felt like life-themes for that time. Thus, my "theme songs" began, a list which now seems pretty special since I can kind of trace the things I was learning with and about God through it. Ok, moving on...

This season the words to my theme song have been encouraging, and (most recently) pretty convicting. I don't know about you, but now that I have been doing some of the same jobs/ministries for consecutive years, I've discovered an auto-pilot setting that can get me in trouble. Ex: It's possible to teach an entire 6th grade band class without investing the heart I have in the past, and get a similar result. It's possible to smile at a student who needs a smile, without actually feeling compassion for them. It's possible to "take the higher road" in response to a co-worker, look like I've done the bigger thing, but still feel resentment inside. And those things are wrong. The truth that the Lord is pressing upon me is, the THINGS that I do don't matter if I'm not sincere in my heart. If I do the right thing, but don't mean it in the deepest part of my soul, I may as well not have done it. Our God is not a god of deeds. He is a God of love. 1 John 4:8 says, "Whoever does not know love does not know God, because God is love." I deeply, sincerely want the things I'm doing with my life to please God. And for that to happen, I've got to be doing them out of my love for Him. I sometimes forget that when I choose to simply go through the motions, or to reserve a below-the-surface opinion for myself, He is not pleased, but He's shaking that up.

Thank You, Lord for calling me out on this. Thank You for sparing me a lot of action for nothing. I'm asking for the increased desire to keep doing the things You've called me to purely out of my love for You.

Enjoy the lyrics to this song by "For King and Country," (or just listen HERE), and see if they don't stir you to sincerity.

The Proof Of Your Love

If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breathe with every song
I bring, an empty voice
A hollow noise

If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste
With every word I say

(Chorus)
So let my life be the proof
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You
And what You're made of
How you lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof
The proof of Your love

If I give to a needy soul
But don't have love then who is poor
It seems all the poverty
Is found in me

(Chorus)

When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains

(Chorus)

Our Mighty Men: An Introduction

Meet Our Mighty Men

Sweet itty bitty fingers, sweet baby toes. Baby sounds, and baby smells. Smooth, chubby cheeks just begging to be kissed. These precious little bodies will continue to grow around the men the Lord has designed them to be. These are my boys. We loved them before we saw them, but now, having seen them, our hearts are swollen with delight. 

Gabriel Tamirat Hill

Mommy and Daddy had been praying about the first time we met our sons. We imagined that they would both be awake and waiting for us when we walked in the room, and wondered about who would reach for who first. We both wanted both of them! But God had it sorted. We walked into a quiet room where both of our boys were sleeping. We gazed over the crib rail at our beautiful sons, and tears welled up in our eyes. It was nice to take a few moments to just breathe in their smells, and soak in their faces. And then, my chubby cheeked, sweetest little puckered Gabriel stirred. I leaned over his crib as he blinked a few times and stared wide-eyed up at me. "Hi," I gushed, lifting his dense, warm little self into my arms. I couldn't stop smiling, and his big brown eyes just locked on my face. I leaned him back as he gazed steadily up at me. He was so beautiful, and so intent, I couldn't stop smiling back at him. "This is your Daddy," I whispered and turned him to see Cary who was crying quietly beside us. Gabe took a couple of Daddy glances, and then latched those big brown eyes right back on to my face. We all laughed. He continued to study and stare for about 10 minutes, before he allowed us to start cuddling him, kissing him, and passing him to Daddy. Gabe has the baby giggle of every Mom's dreams, and he's always looking for an excuse to use it. His favorite games are being flown over our heads, and being held by Daddy while Mommy swoops in to kiss his forehead. (He cranes his neck and raises his eyebrows to let us know he wants another turn, and since it's impossible to resist such cute gestures, the game goes on for awhile.) We love him, and look forward to knowing that laugh, and that stare, for the rest of our lives.

Ezekiel Zekarias Hill
Ezekiel was sleeping when we saw him for the first time. He's baby perfection. The smoothest, sweet round cheeks you've ever seen, with long beautiful eye lashes that curl back on their own. His Daddy and I were eager to hold him, but didn't want him to feel yucky if we woke him up from a nap he wasn't finished with, so we waited. I hovered over his crib when I saw him stirring - about to wake up from his nap. His little eye-lids started to flutter, so I leaned in. I reached for him as his eyes opened, and without hesitation, Ezekiel reached for my face. As I scooped him into my arms, he looked into my face as he moved his little hand across my mouth and chin. I couldn't help but smile and talk to him, my beautiful son with his intensive stare. He's a deep-thinker, my Zeke. His Daddy and I learned that he likes to be bounced and rocked, read and sung to. You can see enjoyment in his eyes, but his smiles come in quick flashes. He reserves his giggles for the utmost occasions, and he does NOT perform for cameras. You either want to play with him, or you want his picture - it's one or the other. Zeke enjoyed the airplane toy and teething ring we brought him. He'd slowly turn them over in his hands, studying their colors before he'd cram them in between those little teething gums. Ezekiel has one baby tooth in the middle of his bottom gums right now. It makes those hearty giggles worth all of the effort it takes to get them. We already love him so much, and we always will.

Thanksgiving

On our way home for a family Thanksgiving dinner before flying out for Ethiopia tomorrow morning, Cary said to me, "Every mile we drive gets us a mile closer to our boys." And I sank one inch deeper into the reality that I will finally get to hold the sweet little people God is entrusting to us, that in a week they will legally be ours. A little anxiety swept over me. What if I'm not ready to be a mom? What if I realize I'm not the mom I want to be? What if I can't do this? And then the whisper of a memory came to mind and it filled me with joy...

Not long before I was born, my mom was in the hospital. She knew it was time to deliver, but an unexpected rush of emotion swept over her - despite the joy and expectation she'd carried for 9 months, the excitement about meeting me froze. My mom slipped into the restroom where she actually intended to hide. She felt increasingly sure she did not want to have her baby anymore; that she'd rather just keep (me) inside. The fear continued to grow, and my mom began to talk to God. I can't do this. If this baby is going to be born, You are going to have to do this. She felt peace having given me to God, and very shortly after, I was born.

Of course, my mom has always been a super mom. She read and sang with us, kissed hundreds of boo-boos, packed thousands of lunches, encouraged and pushed us when needed, celebrated wins and coached us through fails... Her OB-GYN actually calls her "the child whisperer." But greater than all of that still, is the attitude my mom had from the start. Her fear wasn't for herself, it was for me. And so, she gave me to God. Her prayer for me was that I would get to know and love God like she did. There is a song that sums this up, and so, became special to us as I was growing up. If you've never heard it, listen to it here:

You're a little piece of heaven
you're a golden ray of light
and I wish I could protect you
from the worries of this life
But if there's one thing i could tell you
it's no matter what you do
hold to Jesus, Hes holding onto you

The world will try to tell you
that might is more than right
and beauty's on the outside
and being good's a losing fight
but remember what I've told you
'cause the world will make you choose
Hold to Jesus, Hes holding onto you

Hold on to Jesus, and cling to his love
rest deep in his mercy, whenever things get rough
and don't lose sight of his goodness
and don't ever doubt this truth -
that when you hold onto Jesus,
He's holdin' onto you

Hear me dear Jesus,
rock this little one to sleep
keep her close when she's scared
and give her grace when she is weak
I know she'll stumble, but i know she'll make it through
if you hold onto just like you said you do
Hold her Jesus, so she'll hold on tight to you
-Erin O'Donnell

God answered my mom's prayer for me. He's always had His hand on me, and now I'm holding on to Him. How thankful I am for that. Today I am especially thankful for the joy of thinking (hoping) I see similarities in the beginning of my maternal journey that were present at the beginning of my mom's. As the reality of meeting my babies grows near, feelings like the ones my mom has described to me about the beginnings of motherhood stirred. (Even if they are feelings of fear and insecurity - I'm just thankful to recognize a parallel.) The Lord has been showing me a lot recently about how much we pass from one generation to the next. And since that's the case, thank you Mama, for the example of the most precious thing I can pass on to my boys.

Victory = Not Mine = Mine Anyways

"In every victory, let it be said of me, my source of strength, my source of hope, is Christ the Lord."

T-minus 10 days, and we depart for the soil where our family is physically united for the first time. 10 days. It's 9pm. Almost 9 days. Whhhhhy, is the bottom of my heart giving out now??? It was one of those Mondays at school. I just couldn't get in grace-mode. I found myself snapping and wishing I hadn't. I kept trying to evaluate my heart, asking, What is going on in there? I was looking forward to fellowship in housegroup later this evening, and made multiple attempts to move my outlook forward. Finally, when the day ended, I realized, I just felt sad. Something about knowing that I REALLY WILL get HOLD my boys, IN MY ARMS, in 10 days, has brought our life-situation to a new level of tangible. And all I can feel is how far away they are. And it feels like I might die.

My plan was to get groceries on the way home and make dinner before housegroup. But the task seemed so miserable. I am not a Walmart hater, but I decided to go elsewhere since my mood was already so foul. I headed for Target, but I wasn't ready to go there either. I pulled into the Pier1 parking lot. Let me tell ya... Cary and I are just 3 years in to building a life together. We've never been shopper/spenders. BUT, for the past 8 months, we stopped spending completely. It's been that long since I set foot into a store like Pier1, and I decided today was the day. The delicate balance of rustic and glitter holiday decor was kind of breathtaking, but mostly it felt good to float around in quiet seclusion so I could think. I kept thinking of the possible calamities I'm capable of... Forgetting a passport. Getting sick enough to get thrown off a plane. Oversleeping. And the detriment that those things would mean for our family which would then not be united in 10 days. Oi.

I got to the back of the store where there are some inexpensive photo frames that only poor college students like former-me buy since they can't afford anything else in the store. I knelt down into the familiarity of those days when I was single, had no idea where life was headed, just enjoying simple combinations of hand-painted wood and knock-off mosaics I could afford. How much my heart has swelled since then. I noticed these two little birds - one green, one blue - the shades we've chosen for the boys' room. They had spiral wire picture holders above them. Huh. For some reason, I loved them. I was reminded of the verse referenced in the song I've been skipping every day on the cd I'm listening to. "His eye is on the sparrow..." I didn't want to hear it in the cliche sense, but I did feel that these little birdy treasures in my boys' colors were just for me to find. I picked them up and carried them around until I'd had enough quiet sorting time.

After regrouping, getting groceries and getting over the fact that I didn't get it all done in time for housegroup, it was dark and I drove home in the rain. Just before I pulled into the driveway, I tuned back into the song that had come on the radio - an oldie. This line popped out: 

"In every victory, let it be said of me, my source of strength, my source of hope, is Christ the Lord."

As I carried groceries inside, the truth of this statement sank in. I can't help asking how I will get through the next 9 days, but I have heard an answer. The Lord will be my source. Supposing 10 days from now all is well and we're stepping on that joyous plane (having not overslept, or forgotten something crucial, or gotten kicked off our flight, or just melted away...) I can say with certainty that it's a victory, and my source is Christ, the Lord.

The Beginning of the End.

Is it not bizarrely cool to be a little piece of an unfolding plan that is obviously happening all around you? If you don't know what I'm talking about, you have GOT to meet your Creator. His plan for you is way outside what you could ever hope for yourself.

If you've been following our story, you know that Cary and I are just a super-normal 25/26 year old couple. A music teacher. An engineer. And that in the past 6 months, God has turned our world upside down - and that has all been for the better. From the beginning of our family story to now we have had no part in directing the most climactic season of our lives; God has lined EVERYTHING up to make this adoption happen. The best is being able to sit back and say with certainty, this is His.

Similar to how the beginning of our adoption story came out of nowhere, the beginning of the end caught us by surprise. My week at school has been crazy. My 8th graders were snowed out of their October concert last Tuesday night (yes - record-breaking events happening all around us), we threw together the costumed band "Peep and the Sheep" for "Light the Night" at our church last Wed, and Friday was the jazz band's performance/dance I've been working on for the past month. I've been writing purchase orders like Santa writes checks at Christmas. (Does Santa do that? Stay with me...) Our assistant band director was out for two days so add subs in the midst of all that's happening at school, and... needless to say, Friday in the bandroom was a whirlwind. IMAGINE my surprise, when the band room phone rings (again), I answer "Band room-" as always, and hear our adoption coordinator's voice on the opposite end of the line. (I confess, my first reaction was a bit of panic. Was something wrong?) But she said to me... "Obviously I wouldn't be calling you at work if I didn't have good news." (And my heart LIT up.) We had not even hoped for this phone call any time soon. (God, You are SO good - SO full of surprises!)

That's when she told us that we have a court date. NOVEMBER 28, 2012. (November. Like, the same month as... now. As in... not 3 weeks go by before we are THERE! Yeah. That November.) I was speechless. And then I was probably obnoxiously high pitched. We didn't talk long. I ran into the band office to call Cary. Our substitute teacher and lunch detention prisoner watched curiously from outside as I paced and jumped and squealed...

What does this mean? Thanksgiving with my sons. Parental custody. Snuggling. Reading and singing... Holding those sweet little bodies!  A little piece of closure, a big step toward all being home together. Praises.

So now we get ready to go. We're looking at travel arrangements now, we'll be collecting orphanage donations to fill 3 of the 4 50 lb bags we are allowed to carry, we get packed, and the Lord leads on! Our church is studying the life of Moses. This passage won my attention tonight, and has gripped my heart:

                                       "And the Lord said, 'My Presence will go with you, 
                                          and I will give you rest.' Then Moses said to Him, 
                                                   'If Your presence does not go with us, 
                                                        do not bring us up from here.'"
                                                                   -Exodus 33:13-15

Can I get an Amen?

By the Seat of My Pants

Let me tell you... (That's the way a miserably awkward forensics piece I once attempted all because I had a crush and wanted to feel cooler than I am, began. Miserably awkward, but a story for another day.) I do not fly by the seat of my pants. At least, not by choice. And yet, yes I do. (In fact, now that I think about it, my forensics category was... extemporaneous speaking. And sometimes I doubled in the category called, "Impromptu." I assure you, this is all irony at its best.)

I am a perfectionist. Type A. (Neat and capitalized, please.) I crave order. Perfection. Control. For things to be RIGHT! And over the last... (9?) years of my life, the Lord has gently been prying my little ghastly white fingers out of the tight grip that probably isn't good for them. (And yet, I'm holding on...) My idea of a success is when we see a need, begin with a plan, expound and execute said plan, and carry it out to the T. Hey, I can back this approach up; the drive for excellence is biblical! But... as with all things, when my need for control outweighs my dependency on the Lord, there's trouble amuck.

On my current docket is my full time band directing gig - the concerts, the trips, the jazz band and their dances, the 4,000 purchase orders, -oh, and turning absolute beginners into well-rounded musicians. Piano and voice lessons (a highlight of my day - I have some fabulous young worship leaders in the making), children's choir at church, our teen group "Jubilee," sons who are in Ethiopia waiting for their Mommy and Daddy to come and get them, and the concert (1 week from today) of some of my original songs, minus some musicians I wish I'd asked to join us 3 months ago ...and sometimes I try to blog. So these days, I am in the middle of organizing an event I wish I'd planned better when I am struck with a detail that will surely add to--a different event I have not thoroughly thought through. I'm bouncing back and forth. I'm multi-tasking. (Not my gift.) I'm putting everything I've got in. (To six different life categories.) And so, the honest truth may be that I can't really ace all of it at once. (Still, I'm trying. Real hard.)

Take, for instance, this concert that we are putting together. (A celebration of our adoption. A support raising event, and a lifelong dream of mine come true.) ...So you'd probably think that details on my end are pretty together, right? The concert in my hometown takes place a week from today. I have friends there who have bent over backwards - gone completely out of their way to take care of setup details, childcare, an unbelievable refreshment spread and decorations... And yet somehow I find myself waking up first thing in the morning with the realization that I never told the sound guy (who has volunteered his personal time/skills, by the way), that there will be a guitar. An easy fix, except that by the time I get out of bed and across the room, I've remembered 3 other long lost details, and forgotten the original one I set off across the room to take care of. Then that happens 5 more times before I'm on my way to work. (Oh, and on my way to work? I start writing a new song. And I feel sure, of course, that it is necessary for the concert in a week. WHY????) And so, things ARE coming together, but it feels like I'm flying... you've got it: by the seat of my pants. And that is NOT how I roll. And yet... yes, it is.

There is joy in knowing this is just a season. One ...or a hundred person(s) might have mentioned that "things only get busier when you have children." But not for this Momma. This Momma is maxing out the productive pieces of her life - enjoying them while she can, but pushing toward the goal line UNTIL she gets her sweet, sweet babies home. And then, everything else fades to the background. I may or may not do any of it. But I WILL have time to sit still with, and love on my boys. And that will be it. And I will plan our days out when I want to, and I will carry out said plans to the T... Or I might just let that whole perfection thing go, too.

This is just a season, and there's joy in knowing it.

Submitted to Court!

Our Mighty Men,

Today we got the MOST exciting news we've gotten since the day we found out God chose us to be your parents. Mrs Susan wrote to us to tell us we are submitted to court! That means that in a few weeks, we'll find out what day we can finally come be WITH you! (That is all we can think about!)

Tonight Mommy has been quizzing Daddy on material for his polymers midterm. He won't be in classes much longer, but Mommy will probably get to quiz you two a lot in the years to come! We have so much we can't wait to share with you. Your Daddy is working so hard these days. He has filed a patent application already (with another in the works), today he got the highest quiz grade in his class, he's applying for fellowships, and all he talks about is you. Today a saxophone quartet came from Virginia Tech to play for Mommy's band classes. They played Bach's "Toccata and Fugue." Mommy loves listening to good music - almost as much as she loves sharing it with people she loves. (Today, her students. Tomorrow, YOU!) You are getting so big! At 7 months old, you are 13 and 15 pounds. Mommy and Daddy just got pictures of you wearing the matching onesies we sent to you months ago - precious! You are so cuddly and we'd do anything to snuggle you right now. (We'll make up for lost time in just a few months!)

Sweet ones, tonight we are praying... We are praising God for YOU! Praising Him for keeping you safe and healthy, and praising Him for giving us reason to be so excited - so soon we will be together! So many of our friends, your grandparents and aunts and uncles are all praising Him for the same reason. We're praying that you will get lots of hugs and play time with those sweet nannies who are with you tonight. We're praying that God would keep getting us ready to be best parents to you we can be! We are thanking Him for this new and special joy that comes from knowing we get to have you in the rest of our lives. And finally, we are praying that you'll rest well tonight as your Heavenly Father watches over you.