The Start of Spring, and My Newly Three Mighty Men

 

Beautiful days. 

"Mommy, I love donuts. You love donuts?" Yes. "Daddy love donuts?" Yes. "Zeke love donuts?" Yes.
 "All the Hill family love donuts!" 

There are so many things about my newly THREE-year-old boys that are FUN. Your new fixation on family and names. Asking and answering intentional questions at dinner and telling stories... Zeke's new character "Baby" and the never-ending pretend game you two pop in and out of.

My new favorite Gabe sentence is, "I will, Mama." It comes so unexpectedly every time, and sounds so seasoned and confident. Gabe, pick up your shoes before someone coming in the door trips over them. "I will, Mama." Hey boys, we're going to hurry up and clean up our project so we can go take lunch to Daddy. "I will, Mama!" (That's my boy!) My favorite Zeke development these days is all physical. Who ever could have guessed that the child who refused to roll over, to crawl, we worried might never walk, would run exactly 64 laps around our living room coffee table this week, or run beside the stroller at a light Mommy pace for 3/4 mile? Daddy and I also love that Zeke is always wanting to share beyond what is "fair." Frequently, after hearing a brother told that it is not his turn, Zeke is heard saying, "Gabe, yes! Gabe, yes!" and extending what he has to brother bear. A sweet and generous heart. Gabe, your love of the Bible softens my heart so often when I am in a hurry, and trying to cut corners (like Bible time) to keep to our schedule, but it IS childlike faith, and I love to see how much you just sincerely want to learn about God, to the exclusion of everything else.

This last photo is my favorite from our almost-spring walk. Gabe, you took Zeke's hand, and asked,  

"How a' you today, Zeke?" All the conversation and hand-in-hand trail exploring that followed had my heart exploding.

 

What makes Mommy and Daddy happier than watching you two do life together? Not much. You're growing in every way, stepping more confidently away from our little nest every day, and wowing us all the way. XO Mighty Men. 

You are and will always be so loved. ~Mommy and Daddy

Dedication

Z and G,

Today was your baby dedication at church. We stood before the congregation with Sandy, promising to raise you to know the Lord, and asking them to help us show you how to know and love Him. Daddy thanked them for helping us get you home, and told them why he first called you "Mighty Men." He shared Psalm 29, your first Bible verse that teaches you about who God is.

After church we went out to lunch with Grandmarmy, Addie, Eli, Grandad, Uncle Pete and Astleigh, Aunt Katherine, and two of her friends to celebrate with a big lunch at El Mariachi (after all, it's Cinco de Mayo!) and now while all the family is on their long drive home, you and Daddy are sleeping. (I decided to get up and write down these thoughts - Mommy has never been good at taking naps since she can always think of something she'd rather do.)

Things you should know:

1) We dedicated you to God before we ever held you. It was pretty clear to Mommy and Daddy right away that getting to be your parents was the greatest privilege we might ever know, and we also knew pretty fast that we'd better not try to do it on our own. So we gave you right back to God. Hard as it is to imagine, we know He loves you even more than we can. We trust Him to shepherd you, and to show us how He wants you to grow up. It's very exciting, and a big relief - you are His!

2) There are many things that Mommy and Daddy pray for you every day, but this is the biggest: that one day, when you're old enough to understand, you know your God, and give your life to Him. Since today's dedication has been on my mind all week, I've been listening to songs that voice all those dreams we have for you. I like to listen to them and cry with joy and anticipation of you experiencing them all. Mommies are weird like that. This is one of my favorites, by a song artist my Mommy used to listen to (while she cried). :)

"Your Whole Life Long," Twila Paris

I pray the Lord will hold you close and keep you through the night,
That you will wake up smiling in the early morning light,
That He will always comfort you and make you brave and strong,
I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long.

I pray that you will grow up to be wise and good and true,
I pray that you will please the Lord in everything you do,
I pray that you will hear His voice and learn to sing His song,
I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long.

I pray that you will follow Him,
I pray that you will follow Him,
I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long.

I pray the Lord will bless you with His presence every day,
I pray he will protect you every step along the way,
Help you love what's right and lead you far away from wrong,
I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long.

I pray that you will follow Him,
I pray that you will follow Him,
I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long.

 

We love you, we're so proud of you already, and we feel blessed to have a church body that feels the same way. They join us in loving you before you do anything to earn it, wanting you to know your Creator and Savior, and laughing when you make faces and pull off your adorable hat.

Career Girl or Stay-at-Home Mom?

Career Girl or Stay-at-Home Mom:

They're both harsh boxes to get inside of if you ask me. Yes, I had thought about it before the boys came home. Before we had kids, I'd been in separate conversations that favored each side. (Gotta love the strong sentiments that get raised in the debate: "Who works and pays for a college degree, just to not use it?" "Who has kids just to let someone else raise them?") Since preparing for Zeke and Gabe to come home, I'd thought about it, and muddled feelings and thoughts usually ended up pushed to the box in the back of my head labeled, "Annoying Things I'll Deal With Later."

Here's the thing: I support and respect women who have chosen to stay home, and women who have chosen to go to work. I'm allowed to do that. Every woman, every family, every situation is different. I don't believe there's a right/wrong here, and my decision doesn't affect the way I see any other woman or her decision. So please believe me when I say, there's no condemnation here. -Not even for myself, anymore. I made my decision. I am free. Hallelujah.

I was born a teacher. (Ask my little sister. Bless her.) If I learn something exciting, the first thing I want to do is enlighten someone else. I have a clear call to teach music, a thirst for excellence in the education of young musicians, and I feel fulfilled when I'm doing it. I've taught middle school band at CMS for four years, this last one being my first year as a full time employee, and my favorite. I LOVE my students. I have also imagined since I was a teenager that I would stay home with my kids (probably because that's what my mom did with me, and I want to be just like her). The thing is, our adoption happened 2 years before we thought it would. My band program was just getting cranked up to where I wanted it. I was JUST getting established. And I was LOVING it. Not to mention the whole out of college for four years and we-have-no-money factor. Things looked different at this stage of life than I'd imagined. Not to mention, my role-model is now raising two young kids in her home, and working, and rocking it. All factors considered, the thought of walking away from my band director position at this point created these fears for me: I'd lose respect from my colleagues. My hard work would be wasted. I'd let my students down. Without the continued accomplishments I was making every day, I'd feel unfilled. And, in a land where music teaching positions are harder and harder to secure, I sensed the vultures circling, which also made me more reluctant to consider walking away. So, when I thought of Ezekiel and Gabriel being home, I imagined myself home with them. And when I thought of the future of the band students at CMS, I imagined myself with them. And I left it to someone else to work out the kinks.

When the time came for us to go get the boys, I felt no qualms about taking maternity leave. Even my students were all about me going to get and be with my boys. And I'm not kidding when I say, I didn't think past that. I didn't want to.

Which brings us to now. Last week I got a letter from HR. It said that the deadline for exercising my choice to take "Extended Parental Leave" for one year, was this week. Oi. (Extended Parental Leave means you don't get paid or benefits, but your position is safe should you want it after that year is up.) It was time to do the hard thinking... but lo and behold, I was ready.

While I wasn't really thinking about it, the decision had been becoming clearer and clearer to me. For starters, I'm a "Type A." I'm happy when I'm pouring all my energy into something, feeling I'm giving it my best. Since my personality doesn't lend itself to divvy-ing things up, my reality is, I don't cut off teacher mode well at a given time, or if I do, I don't feel good about it. My teacher-self used to stay at work late, because I wanted to. I liked having all lesson plans done, room clean and prepped every day so I could just walk in and be about teaching and my students during the day. That requires way more time than a school day allows. There's no mixing family life with that schedule, and who wants to? Meanwhile, I've discovered the schedule that works best for my boys at home, and how to make it flex when they need it to. My favorite times are when they wake up smiley and sweet in the morning or from naps, the games we play while they're eating in their high chairs, thinking of new games that will bring fresh giggles, and those moments they play with each other and don't know I'm watching, ready to explode with enjoyment. They're becoming more of who they were created to be every day. I just can't miss these moments. I'm sure.

So today we went to CMS to visit the kids and introduce the boys to my teacher friends (many of whom I didn't get to see, but we tried), and to tell my principal about my decision. As I anticipated, I was flooded with emotion - especially for the precious kids I've built relationships with. They had so much to tell me, (new haircuts and dating relationships and the invention of hallway swimming, which is pretty impressive), and I melted when a 7th grade boy dubbed himself my children's Godfather. (Then his sidekick, also a boy, volunteered to be the Godmother.) But the tug to jump back on the podium and do music together wasn't as scary as I'd feared, even when the kids asked sweetly for me to stay and do their warm-ups. Not gonna lie - lots of tears over the sweet faces I SO enjoyed interacting with again today. I do care about them, and love having a little place in their lives, but my past fears were more than I realized about proving how much I could teach them, what a respectable program I could build... Lots of that was about myself, and tears of joy today as I let go.

As we drove away from school, Z and G falling asleep in the back of the car, I laughed about how some of my teacher friends only got to see the twins' tranquil, this-is-not-my-scene, (#whyarewesurroundedbyloudkids) posture. I thought about their different qualities or reactions that different people get to see depending on the circumstance, the time of day... and I KNEW as I heard the sound of a just-about-to-fall-asleep Zeke chucking the toy he was ready to relinquish for dreamland, I want to be the one who knows all of those personality sides and behaviors. More than I want to interact with chirpy sweet middle schoolers every day, more than I want to be a constant in their lives and pass on a love for good music, I want to enjoy every bit of and be all of those things for my boys. That's what feels right.

I can't believe how much changed the day these boys entered our lives. (And I get the feeling it will never be the same.) They are only mine for a moment. This is where I want to be.

Come With Me to a Sweet, Sweet Place

Welcome to IAG's care center, in Mekele, Ethiopia. 

Your visit is a big deal to everyone at the care center. The nannies will help the kids print out welcome signs to put on the walls. All of the children too old for the baby rooms will sit in the common room waiting for you. 

When you walk in, they will scream with delight, and run over to you for their turn to pull you down close so they can hug you and kiss each side of your face.

Every child here knows loss. They have lost parents to disease or poverty.

But look - every child here knows joy.

We had more fun playing with this sweetest group of children I've ever met, 

than I know how to tell you.

 

 

 

 

The children at this care center are well taken care of. They love their nannies and their nannies love them. They are being prepared for healthy transitions to safe and loving homes. (Who doesn't want to look at one of these faces and think, "My child.")

 

Some of these kids have families who can't wait to get them home. 

Some of them don't. Yet.

Message me if you'd like more information about one of these little faces. 

Message me if you think they might belong in our community. 

What a blessing it would be - to us!

11:58pm, New Year's Eve

I woke up this morning FEELING you in my arms this morning, my boys. Happy New Year's Eve.

In 2013...

-you will come home

-you will meet the TONS of family who have been waiting to meet you for a long time

-you will both roll over and crawl and walk, and talk!

-you will go to some of our favorite places, like on hikes, and to Washington D.C., and to the Korner Restaurant for ice cream...

-you will smile so much, Mommy will take sooooooo many pictures, and probably not be able to take for granted a single smile in the rest of our 365 days.

This time next year we will be together. You'll be tucked snug in your beds while Mommy and Daddy probably cry about how wonderful that is.

2013 is going to be awesome.

The Beginning of the End.

Is it not bizarrely cool to be a little piece of an unfolding plan that is obviously happening all around you? If you don't know what I'm talking about, you have GOT to meet your Creator. His plan for you is way outside what you could ever hope for yourself.

If you've been following our story, you know that Cary and I are just a super-normal 25/26 year old couple. A music teacher. An engineer. And that in the past 6 months, God has turned our world upside down - and that has all been for the better. From the beginning of our family story to now we have had no part in directing the most climactic season of our lives; God has lined EVERYTHING up to make this adoption happen. The best is being able to sit back and say with certainty, this is His.

Similar to how the beginning of our adoption story came out of nowhere, the beginning of the end caught us by surprise. My week at school has been crazy. My 8th graders were snowed out of their October concert last Tuesday night (yes - record-breaking events happening all around us), we threw together the costumed band "Peep and the Sheep" for "Light the Night" at our church last Wed, and Friday was the jazz band's performance/dance I've been working on for the past month. I've been writing purchase orders like Santa writes checks at Christmas. (Does Santa do that? Stay with me...) Our assistant band director was out for two days so add subs in the midst of all that's happening at school, and... needless to say, Friday in the bandroom was a whirlwind. IMAGINE my surprise, when the band room phone rings (again), I answer "Band room-" as always, and hear our adoption coordinator's voice on the opposite end of the line. (I confess, my first reaction was a bit of panic. Was something wrong?) But she said to me... "Obviously I wouldn't be calling you at work if I didn't have good news." (And my heart LIT up.) We had not even hoped for this phone call any time soon. (God, You are SO good - SO full of surprises!)

That's when she told us that we have a court date. NOVEMBER 28, 2012. (November. Like, the same month as... now. As in... not 3 weeks go by before we are THERE! Yeah. That November.) I was speechless. And then I was probably obnoxiously high pitched. We didn't talk long. I ran into the band office to call Cary. Our substitute teacher and lunch detention prisoner watched curiously from outside as I paced and jumped and squealed...

What does this mean? Thanksgiving with my sons. Parental custody. Snuggling. Reading and singing... Holding those sweet little bodies!  A little piece of closure, a big step toward all being home together. Praises.

So now we get ready to go. We're looking at travel arrangements now, we'll be collecting orphanage donations to fill 3 of the 4 50 lb bags we are allowed to carry, we get packed, and the Lord leads on! Our church is studying the life of Moses. This passage won my attention tonight, and has gripped my heart:

                                       "And the Lord said, 'My Presence will go with you, 
                                          and I will give you rest.' Then Moses said to Him, 
                                                   'If Your presence does not go with us, 
                                                        do not bring us up from here.'"
                                                                   -Exodus 33:13-15

Can I get an Amen?

Announcement #3! - My Dad

Since I was still in the throws of middle school band madness and Cary was doing research for grad school and his company during the week, weekends were the name of the game. We had planned to visit my dad to share our good news the following weekend, but... A week is so long when you have big news! We called him and asked him if he would meet us in Roanoke for dinner on Thursday night. I used Katherine as the excuse to justify 1.5 hour trips for all of us on a weeknight (it was true that she was heading out of town for summer project the next weekend), and so he agreed.

About my Dad: My dad is a man of transportation. My Dad is a farmer with a pick up truck and tractors and a combine. And a fertilizer businessman with dump trucks and loaders and spreaders. And a pilot. And for fun, he has a boat. He has a shepherd dog named Lucy, and now all of us kids are out of the house. For awhile now I've been aware of how much fun my dad is going to have with his grandkids. I don't know how much he's though about it yet, if at all, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be all about them. He's an encourager of mischief and fun. We're going to have to keep a close eye on the kids when they're with Grandad.

We designed the perfect card:

The front:

 Inside:

The delivery:

My family loves eating Mexican. When I was growing up, we ate Mexican with my dad once a week. That Thursday night we met at a new favorite Mexican restaurant of Cary's and mine so my dad and sister could try it out.

About 3 hours before we were scheduled to meet in Roanoke, I got a very important phone call. I didn't know it was going to be important when I answered, but it changed our lives. That's my next post. :)

After recovering from our phone call, Cary and I met up, jumped in the car, and headed to meet my Dad and sister who are always early. As always, they beat us there. We had a very attentive waiter. He was flirting with my sister. (Not uncommon.) We were having a great time catching up, eating great guacamole, laughing a lot, and I suddenly had a panic attack. Things were going to change. This was so much fun - just the four of us - and once we get the boys, it will never be just the 4 of us again. It made my heart speed up, but deep down, I knew it was time for this. We were about to tell my Dad about what was SUPPOSED to be, for all of us! And I was excited.

We gave Katherine a legitimate going away present (I was teary walking around the store picking out things I knew she'd use all summer so far away), and then we pulled out a present for my dad. He looked surprised, but started opening it. It was a captain's hat. An itty bitty one. We had given my dad a captain's hat for his birthday last year. This one was identical, but... smaller. But when he opened it, the size difference wasn't obvious. He nodded.

"Wait," I said. "Did we already give you a hat like that?"

"Yeah, I think so, but that's ok... You can always use another hat." We laughed. I said, "Open the card." So he did. He looked it over, and his eyebrows began to raise.

"We're adopting a little boy from Ethiopia!"

My Dad's reaction was great. And the conversation that followed was even better, but... I can't tell you today, because that would give away too much about tomorrow's post.

Cary and I are beyond thankful. With all of the immediate family in the know, we realize that we're beyond blessed to have so much amazing family, and better yet, a family that is so ready to welcome our little ones home. To God be the glory.

Announcement #2! Telling Mom, Dad, Katherine, Addie, and Eli

The weekend after Pete's graduation, we took a pre-Katherine-departure family trip to Twin Falls State Park in West Virginia. (Katherine is my 23 yr old baby sister. She has a sweet job, but is gone alllll summer. Read about it HERE.) One of my favorite things about a family trip is the long car ride. I LOVE having everyone crammed into one small space, with no escape. No kidding, I do. Maybe it's because I have opportunity for close observation of the little quirks about each person that I love. Maybe it's because I also love a little bit of sibling... ya know, annoyingness. (Poking, copying, teasing... whatever it takes to find a nerve.) As the eldest, it's usually my job to start it. Sometimes Eli takes over for me.

We arrived at our cabin on Friday night. The family plan was to eat in all weekend, and do one nice dinner out. When we realized how little food (or civilization) there is near Twin Falls, we decided that nice dinner would be at the lodge's nice restaurant. (A splurge!) Cary and I had decided we would share our news at the nice family dinner. And... since not telling them for a whole week nearly killed me, we decided to push for having that event on the first night.

The Plan: We wrapped a pack of cute baby boy bibs with the little pockets on the front. Inside one of the pockets, we put a message written in the voice of our little boy. We thought at the end of our fun family meal, when everyone is starting to lean back in their chairs, we'll let Addie and Eli open the present, someone read the card, and watch their faces for that moment that they "get it!"

Does anything go according to the original plan? (I've mentioned this before. Is there already a sub-theme forming? I'm only on my 3rd post!) Sometimes... Ok, often, my family finds ourselves in Griswold-like scenarios. Here's how the nice family evening out went:

-Cary and I pushed for eating our nice dinner out the first night. After unloading the van and settling in, who wants to cook?! :) Everyone agreed.
-The Twin Falls Lodge is LOVELY. We cleaned up a little at our cabin, and everyone was excited to head to our fancy dinner.
-We walked toward the back of the lodge where the restaurant was. We were greeted by a lady who clearly aspired to do something else with her life, and whom we'd clearly offended by walking up to the door. Woops.
-She escorted us about 10 feet in to the almost empty dining room, and pointed to a table. I asked... "Can we sit back there by the windows?" (Hey, this was going to be a big event!)
-That was it. We were officially added to the "Least Favorite Persons" list. My bad. (But the atmosphere was SO much nicer!)
-We regrouped. After some awkward, sometimes barking exchanges about drinks and menus, we found ourselves chatting and passing childrens' menus around the table, each time adding caricatures of one another. Family time!
(I had butterflies in my stomach. We had such great news to share!!)
-We ordered. Ok, we all tried to get our orders through without being thwarted by the waitress whose vendetta was to tell us "They're out of an ingredient for that," or... "I know the menu says it comes with that, but it doesn't."
-We played more games at the table. We got our fried green tomatoes appetizer!! (Something must have burned in the oil it was fried in, or... they grabbed the wrong breading, maybe? We just dipped them in more ranch.)
-We laughed, we teased... we waited for refills. And waited.
-And the food came! And... it was depressing. There were several deflated faces at the sight of their plates, but the saddest was Addie's. Addie had ordered the kids' pasta with alfredo sauce. The waitress had told her they didn't serve alfredo sauce. We questioned the menu's indication that... they did serve alfredo sauce. She'd gone back to the kitchen, and came back to unhappily announce that Addie could indeed have alfredo sauce. Well, there was her cold, saucy pasta, with one gigantic meatball in the middle. Katherine took one look and said something blunt like, "I wouldn't eat that." If only we'd gone with that gut feeling. We started looking around the table, offering ranch to make one dish more enjoyable, sharing extra french fries, etc.
-By the end of the meal, no one felt very good, or anywhere near deliciously satisfied, and when the bill came, it was pretty hefty. Ouch.
-Time for our announcement!!! ...Not.

The whole thing was pretty hilarious (in an unbelievable sort of way), and maybe the overall zany memory was worth the price, but we were all ready to get back and settle in. All I could think of were the double stuffed oreos back at the cabin that would surely make my stomach feel better. That night, Addie woke up sick. Pretty seriously sick, with food poisoning. (Ugh.) Poor girlie. She handled it like a champ, but she and mom didn't get much sleep, and so we laid low in the cabin Saturday morning watching horrible westerns and Dennis the Mennis while Addie slept it off.

About 12:00, Addie's tummy settled down, and she looked around and said, "What are we going to do today?" So we were off! Off to do the things we do on family vacations. And Cary and I had no idea when we were going to make our announcement. Here are some of our typical family vacation scenes:

 After hiking and checking out the authentic homestead, the ponies, and the visitors store, we'd promised to stop at the playground Addie had noted EVERY time we passed it on our way to and from the lodge. Eli, Addie, and Cary took off through the rubber mulch. Dad stayed close to keep an eye on them. Mama, Kath, and I sat down to rest and observe. We created obstacle courses for Cary and Addie to compete on. (To clear up any confusion, yes, Cary is my 25 year old husband.  He just likes the playground as much as my 8 and 2 year old siblings.) When they started to slow down, Mom suggested dinner time! The wrapped package zipped up in my purse was burning a hole through it. We couldn't wait any more (and we couldn't risk another dinner DISASTER!) So after making lots of "let's do it now" eye contact with Cary, as everyone gathered to get ready to leave, I said, "--Oh, wait! Let's do one more thing." To which my sisters, ready for dinner, groaned. When they asked, what?? I, thinking fast (which... not really my thing) said, "We brought, a, sort-of, family game." Yee-ha. Everyone was already sitting down to catch their breath. I pulled out the wrapped package and everyone looked a bit more interested. I told Dad to open it, and he let Eli help him.

As he pulled out the bibs, I watched closely for he or my mom to instantly know what this was about. I mean, baby bibs!? (Maybe we should have started with something less obvious.) But when Dad said, "Ohhhh." And passed them to Eli, I laughed and realized he thought they were for him. "Oh, there's something else in there." Dad (in his, not-incredibly-enthused voice) said, "Oh, there's a card." I WISH I could share the pictures I took of this crafty little card. (In a tragic technology fail... well, a little my fault since I tripped and unplugged the camera while it was uploading) the pictures of this were lost. So instead I'll indulge my already overly descriptive self:

It was a boy themed card with a little train on the front. (At that point, all we knew was that we were getting a boy from Ethiopia, and we thought we'd wait 3+++ months to find out anything more.) Inside, in little person handwriting, it said:

You haven't met me yet, but you will soon. My place at the table is between Eli and Addie. Right now there's an ocean between us, but my mommy and daddy are coming soon. They tell me that I am going to have the best grandparents, aunts, and uncle I could dream of having. I love you already.
         -Your Grandson and nephew (signed with a baby foot-print)

Dad read it - mostly, and it's meaning was unclear. We waited. Someone quietly reread it under their breath, and then... Light bulb! My mom's eyebrows went up, and then she screamed "Get Out Of Here!" and sobbed the biggest tears of joy I've ever seen. :) While Mama was hugging me, Katherine said, "Ahhh! I have to HUG something!" And grabbed Cary. He was not offended. :) Addie, Eli, and Dad joined in the hugging, and Addie chimed in cute questions, like, "So... you're having a baby? You're getting a baby? Where's Eth-i-nopia?" So then we all piled into the van (my favorite!) and Cary and I began to spill all the details of when and how we'd decided, what we knew so far, wait times, travel details, etc, Katherine kept looking at me with big eyes, shaking her head and saying, "I can't believe you're going to be a mom!" and everybody thought out loud about what our little ones would call them... It was a great day.

Announcement, ANNOUNCEment, ANNOUNCEMENT!

Since paperwork is winding down and I'm feeling committed to shifting my energies to documenting our boys' story, I'm gonna try to proceed chronologically... So far we have our decision documented. Let's fast forward through lots of searching and praying and DREAMS (to be documented later), and we send our contract in to International Adoption Guides, an agency that we LOVE working with. It's time to tell the fam.

If you know Cary and I, you know that we love face time. We idealize sitting around the table, (preferably a table loaded with good home cooking), and talking. And when the food is gone, more talking. Leaning back in chairs, studying faces, swapping stories that remind you of another story, which is just like that time... Well, you get the picture. We value patience and suspense and the right timing... We're THOSE people who wouldn't want to find out if we are having a boy or a girl from the ultrasound... I know, I know.  I never shook presents before opening them - it's like cheating, and who really wants to know before they open them anyways? I share this, because it might help you understand why we felt INSISTENT that we would not share our most exciting news with anyone until we could tell our family, and then closest friends, face to face.

Announcement #1: The Hills

Cary's entire family was coming into town for youngest brother Pete's graduation from VT. Better yet, most of them were going to stay with us in our 2 bedroom apartment. (I love lots of family in small quarters. Again, we're weird like that.) After Pete's graduation, the whole family was supposed to go camping together at the beach - Pete's one request. We didn't want to overshadow celebration of the graduate with our news, so we decided we would wait and do our announcement by the campfire. Does anything go according to original plans? Yeah, right. With so many schedules for when to come and how long to stay, we weren't sure we could coordinate everyone being at the beach at the same time, then Cary's mom wasn't going to be able to get off work to go, and - oh yeah - I found out I could not take off my last 2 days of school without superintendent approval to go camping as we'd planned. Scratch.

Plan B: Everyone was already going to be together, IN OUR APARTMENT. We couldn't do much better than that. Since it was Pete's weekend to be the star, we decided we'd wait til the end of the weekend. We recently started a Hill family "secret santa" tradition, and since everyone was going to be together, Becky (keeper of the Hill family organization) planned to have us draw names while we were together. So...

Our plan: Cary would draw a picture of a baby instead of writing his name to put in the cup. Whoever drew the baby, would undoubtedly say, "Hey! What's this? I drew... a baby?" Which would be the perfect set up for our announcement! Cute, right?

The execution: After a big Saturday morning brunch, Cary and I were washing dishes, adults were sitting around, the nieces were playing... just how we like it. Becky said, "Hey, I'll get everything together so we can draw secret-santa names." Eeek! this was it!! Cary and I told her where to find a cup, pens, etc, and leaned into eachother with anticipation. Yay! Then Becky said, "I'll go ahead and write out all the names and go ahead and drop them in, that way we can all just get together and draw." I panicked... The plan was for US to write our OWN names (or other creative hints). "Uh, I can help you!" Of course, she said she could manage. Because I'm Type A, I began to despair. The plan had crumbled. The end. Cary (who is so NOT type A), shrugged it off. We'll make it work, he whispered. "How?!" I hissed. He looked confident, as he does in such crises, and I started to feel better. We all gathered in the living room, made a circle, and reviewed the terms of drawing, re-drawing, etc. (Cary was discretely tearing off another piece of the red paper Becky had used for names, and scratching out his best take on a baby. Only Cary can pull something like this off. If I attempted it, 3 people would ask me what I was doing.) Cary got to draw first. As he reached into the cup, he dropped our baby announcement in. The drawing continued. He drew, I drew, Becky drew... each person opened the name, thought about it, and passed the cup. No baby yet. Josh drew, Astleigh drew... (Only 3 people left! Where was the baby?!) Pete drew, opened his, looked puzzled, and asked, "What?" Then he relaxed, said, "Oh," and passed the cup. (False alarm.) Ben drew, Lynne drew, and... Billy drew. Everyone looked satisfied. Cary grabbed the cup: "Wait, there's one left!" Becky perked - "No way, I put each of our names in the cup, and everyone drew. How is there one left?" This is where the dialogue gets rich, so I must switch formats so that you can stay with me-

Pete: Well, I drew a picture of a baby. But then I just figured Becky put it in there.
Becky: (emphatic) I did not put that in there. I swear I did not put that in there!
Cary and I were enjoying this. A realization was on the horizon!
Pete: Well, I just figured you put it in there, like I'm supposed to buy stuff for the new baby or something?
Becky: You guys I seriously did not put that in there! (Both Becky and Pete were settling down. Here it came!) ...I guess we need to redraw.
Blink, blink: What?
Cary: Wait, if Becky didn't put it in there, who did?
Pete: (An "aha!") Oh... It was totally Cary. Cary Put it in there. (Haha, yes!) Arright, let's re-draw."
Wait, really??
Cary: I did put it in there, but WHY did I put it in there?

And then the "aha" happened.

Faces lit up, and arms came toward me - so I quickly clarified: "We ARE starting a family. We are adopting a baby from Ethiopia!" Faces brightened again, there were excited voices and hugs all around. I have to say, our baby got the warmest welcome we could have imagined or asked for. Thanks, Hills, for instantaneously sharing our joy, and being so ready to open Hill family goodness to our little one(s). How lucky they will be to grow up having you in their lives!

 

(Up Next: Announcement #2: Mama, Dad, Katherine, Addie, and Eli)

The Beginning of Our Family's Story

Cary and I made an agreement before we got married to NOT start browsing the baby section or brainstorm baby names or nursery decor as soon as we made it down the aisle in an effort to be content in our newlywed stage of life, and to avoid turning on the maternal button I've long sensed might be lurking in me somewhere, coded "all systems go." And we kept to our pact! We've LOVED being newlyweds, and long enjoyed the days of early morning coffee and prayer time together, evenings devoted to together-time dinners, walks, outings, couch time... Marriage has been the best. Another favorite of ours is a nice long drive. Cary and I got to know each other on long car-pool commutes, and found more excuses for extended talk time on our long drives to and from VT. This past November, we were on a 6 hour drive to a conference in Norfolk. (Uninterrupted us time!) Long drives = time to reminisce; for Cary to humor me with guessing games to see if we can find something we don't know about one another; for me to humor him in allowing him to sing falsetto along with the radio... On this particular drive, we'd turned the radio down while we were talking and kept right on talking over it after we lost signal and it turned to static. We were looking at a long stretch of houses, picking out ones we could see ourselves in down the road... I took a step toward the forbidden, and ventured the question, "How long do you think it will be before  we start a family?" Cary mused... "I'd say, probably in the next 2-3 years." I was excited. "I was thinking 2!" He thought for a minute. "I could see it being more like 2." This was fun! "Do you think we'll have a boy or a girl first?" The fun questions and hypotheticals bounced back and forth. "Do you think we'll ever adopt?" We'd attended a seminar at church to increase awareness about the many orphans in the world, even in our own communities. We'd decided my parents would be perfect candidates to adopt. :) Cary answered, "I could see that down the road... maybe once we have some parenting experience and if we feel led..." And then a door that NEITHER of us had anticipated or thought about, opened. We talked about adoption. How there really is a serious need for the care of orphans in the world. We talked about adoptive families, and then family dynamics, and suddenly... we were excited. Cary was looking at me and saying, "I think we should adopt first." I was thrilled, and my head was spinning, but I was so unsure. We talked about things that made us feel like beginning our family with adoption made sense for us. But what if this was just an US plan. How do we know this idea is from God? What if it's just something we're excited about right now, but it was never His plan... We KNOW we want to do what He predestined us to... And so I asked Cary, "What if this is just a crazy idea I cooked up that we could get excited about, but was never His plan?" He nodded... We got quiet. It was a weighty question hanging in the air as we continued down the road. The radio static was just clearing up as a new station filtered in.

"Up next, we'll meet a family who decided to answer God's call to provide for the orphan...." No way. We both froze. We looked at each  other. No way. The radio program went on. It was all about a family in Canada who'd adopted several children. Their adjustments. Their heart for those kids. We cried. I had dared to ask the question out loud... "How do we know if this is from God?" And He answered. Through our radio. We haven't doubted our call since. We realized that we have the opportunity to share the kind of love our God has shown us - to be a loving home for kids who couldn't otherwise have one, can't earn one, may even show us a zillion times that they don't deserve one. It's our call. And every day since we said "yes" has been more beautiful than the last.  

Adoption.

Romans 8:15-16 says "You have received the spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' ...That we are children of God and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ." That God would offer us sonship still blows my mind. But that love keeps going. His adoption story is timeless. It's where the Hill family adventure begins...